well, with it now past 11:30pm you could really make a case for it being 12 days....but I think that's just splitting hairs ;)
so what are my current thoughts? let's start with the number one question I have been asked over the past week:
are you excited???
answer: well, not really!
why? my coworker Steph C put it best when she said, it's something you've waited so long for that it doesn't seem real yet....all I could say was YES!!!! that's exactly it!
just b/c I'm not excited right now does not mean I'm actually not excited...it simply means the reality of it has not totally sunk in yet...I had my first consult eight years ago and I've been trying to make this happen ever since....when you want something like that for so long you have a tendency to not see it as reality even though you know it's literally around the corner....and at this point I'm convinced I will not see it as reality until I'm literally about it be put under....
the second most asked question would definitely be:
are you nervous?
no...now, part of this is b/c I know any nervousness at this point would be wasted energy....it's going to happen, but not for another 12 days....I have my room booked, I have my mom and best friend lined up to help me out those first few days....a very kind coworker is going to look after lil man the day of....so what's to worry about at this point? now, have I had a couple of moments? oh yeah! but I feel like it wouldn't be "normal" if I didn't...I have had those moments of, what if this is a mistake? what if something goes wrong? what if I don't like it? what if they look worse? all of which I think are valid questions....but nothing I can answer just yet...and nothing I can really address until it's a problem....if it's even a problem at all....
now coworker response has been funny....obviously people are curious....I would be, too....funny how it always seems to be me who is the one on an outback staff who is going through a transformation for the whole staff to witness....granted, that was usually in the form of competing and that look was always fleeting....this is, um, a little more drastic....and lasting....hehehehe....the guys, well, they're guys! they are most definitely looking forward to this....a lot of the females have actually been supportive and ultra curious....I think the support is partly b/c they know this is something I've been working hard towards and have always had a great issue with...they know I am really looking at gaining a sense of normalcy with them and not to gain a role in a porn movie....ok that was a slightly overinflated description but you get what I'm saying...now is there some trash talking about it? oh I bet there is....but who gives a fuck! it's my chest, deal with it...and if I have my way about it I'll be able to phase myself out of there this next year as I aim towards my goals of training people and designing diets plans....who knows, maybe I'll get to move, too...I mean MOVE....away....A-WAY....I mean, born and raised NC....love this state but um, I think it's time I got out to see what else is out there....I can always come back :)
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